kombo lawak english

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

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Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

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Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy'
'What happened then?'
'We met.'
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Customer : 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get
to Brighton in two days' time?'
Post Master : 'Well it might do.'
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to London.
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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting
things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the
psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
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Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love
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1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out
of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
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Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.
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A Case For The FBI
The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."
"This will be noted."

Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.

The phone rings at Tom's house.
"Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yeah they did."
"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

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"Should women have children after 35?"
"No, 35 children are enough!"

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Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

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The 3 fastest means of communication:
1. Telephone

2. Television

3. Tell-a-woman .

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A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.
She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?"
The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, "Not bad"