Sunday, September 13, 2009
To avoid death OR WORSE these are the rules of engagement for men during PMS.
1) DONT talk to her unless she talked to you. All your answers should start with the word honey.
2) DONT change the TV channel if she is infront of it. It doesn't matter if she is asleep infront of it.
3) DONT ask what's for dinner otherwise it will be your ass for dinner. And no matter what she made, ITS GREAT. It doesn't matter whether it was salt-less pumpkin soup. ITS GREAT!
4) DONT mention PMS at all even by mistake. If you do, you will know why people say it means Psychotic Mood Shift, Pissy Mood Syndrome or Potential Murder Suspect.
5) DONT ask her what she is so worked up about. Trust me, you liked her better the way she was before you said that.
6) YOU are on her side NO MATTER HOW STUPID her argument is. If she tells the waiter the pizza is too round, as far as you are concerned, ITS TOO DAMN ROUND.
7) DONT answer phone calls from any woman unless its your mother and even then, talk to her on loudspeaker. And to be safe, start every sentence with Mother.
8) YOUR DAY WAS GREAT! It doesn't matter if your boss stood on your desk and peed on your head and then invited fellow employees to do the same. YOUR DAY WAS GREAT!
9) UNLESS SHE KISSES YOU, and you are VERY SURE she started it ... and you can feel her tongue in your mouth, DONT TRY TO KISS HER! AND DONT TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE!
10) If you think she is faking PMS, you are signing a death wish. She can fake PMS coz she gets it. You never get so how do you know when she is faking and when she aint? If she says she has PMS, SHE HAS PMS!